This was one of my BIGGEST compaints at E3. Whenver they got a presenter to live play the game on stage, the presenter didn’t go into what was happening on the screen, they weren’t talking about the specs of the game, or what is happening they were (for the most part) having very jilted and staggered conversation, that at the best of times was cheesy and at the worst of times was creepy  *cough* The guy during Killer Instinct *cough*.

To me the two worst times were during the game presentations for Spark (on the X Box One) and for Destiny (During the Sony conference). The one for Destiny wasn’t awful, but the presenters would say things like “this gun is cool” oppose to explaining how many classes were in the game, if you could play the different factions, what does a ghost do, who the hell Fire Team 1 and Fire Team 2 were or if we could drive the land speeders they were on. Spark, on the other hand, had the designer use voice activated features to make a world and a home base and a rock be his pet, but never told us WHY!! Why do I want to do ANY of this stuff. Am I making puzzle levels like Little Big Planet for other players to run through? Do set levels exist in the game or is the game just some sort of box to make tiny games? You said you got a script from the web, will these be easy to find online? Can I hand code scripts to put online? Why do you want a rock as a pet, and how did you turn him into a mech? Can I turn ANYTHING into a mech? What is happening?! As a perspective customer it left me confused, I still don’t know what that game is about or what you’re suppose to do.

I know, I know, this is probably super nit picky and is a completely First World Problem, but it felt like going on a test drive for a car, only to have the sales man tell you about the songs on the radio oppose to the features of the car. Yeah the car drives and parks, but all cars drive and park, what makes this car unique or worth buying?

Rant over, please return to your everyday lives.


P.S. The title to today’s comic is a reference to the following David Bryne song, enjoy!